The Six Lessons

Back in 2018, I wrote a long blog piece about the journey I took with my horse, A’bientot (better known as The Sheikh) to see him to health and happiness and his final home in Goch, Germany, at ARR.  

At the time, I wrote that having put him back together again I could see clearly that the missing piece of the puzzle was me.  Not just my riding (clearly though I’d competed and ridden for years I could not actually ride) but somehow in both body and soul I needed to work if I wanted to have the kind of connection and union that I felt I could and should have with this amazing being.  

That journey has taken me through Pilates to qi gong and kung fu, to mindfulness and gratitude.  All to support and enhance what I could only do when the time allowed – mostly two months in the summer for the last four years  - working with my horse, both from the ground and in the saddle.  

One of the proudest moments of my life came in 2022 when a photo of me riding Sheikh was considered good enough to be featured on the ARR facebook page.  So much love and pride and understanding and connection.  I thought I would burst.  

But of course I didn’t just learn to ride.  I learned and continue to learn so very much more.  And though Sheikh is now gone; the lessons remain and it’s time to start to share them.  With all the love in the world.

• 1. The Fast Way is the Slow Way

  DescriptionIn a nutshell; there are no shortcuts to anything that is worth having.

  Building muscle and strength

  Building a career

  Building a relationship

  Building a skill

  The only way to get to the top of the mountain is by putting one foot in front of the other.

  You have to be prepared to put in the work.

  Time, repetition, nutrition, effort.

  Set your goals years into the future and you will find yourself exceeding your own expectations. Set them weeks ahead and you will only disappoint yourself.

  A little goes a long way, if it’s done over, and over and over again.

  Life is not a sprint, it’s a marathon. Pace and build, pace and build, pace and build.

• 2. Learning by Doing

  Remarkably, research shows that in sport visualising yourself doing an action has almost the same result as doing the action. But there’s a catch. First, you must be able to actually do the action 😄

  And the only way to develop the ability to do the action is to actually do it, not think about it, or talk about it, or dream about it.

  Get out there and do it.

  Yes, you’ll make mistakes. But if you don’t make mistakes you’ll never learn. And if you don’t learn, you’ll never grow. And if you don’t grow, you’ll never master … so do it, make your mistakes, and learn.

• 3. Do One Thing at a Time

  Here’s a surprise, so called multi-tasking is not productive.

  A recent research study showed that approximately 20 hours a week are wasted simply through people being reactive to interruptions in their flow of work. Of course this focuses on electronic interruptions, emails, messages, social alerts.

  But it’s the same with everything we do.

  You cannot truly focus on two things at the same time. You cannot possibly be present and you cannot possibly give anything your best.

  Focus on what you are doing NOW. Be with who you are NOW. Then move on.

• 4. Quiet your Mind

  We often hear the constant action of our thoughts being called the ‘monkey mind’, signifying their restless, unsettled and confused nature. Interestingly, the real translation of the word is ‘heart-mind monkey’ and I really prefer to think of our restless, unsettled and confused thoughts like this – that we don’t have a jumping monkey mind that we are kind of at the mercy of, but what we do have is a monkey in there jumping around with our thoughts.

  This also gels better with what we know of neuroscience, which is that while a great deal of the way in which we think happens at an automatic level, it is possible to gain control, rewire and reconnect in extremely powerful ways.

  Work on your mind. Practice gratitude. Consider meditation; use moving meditation if that helps you. Breathe. Do yoga. Practice being present, really present. Take time to be still, notice your thoughts but do not react to them. In time, the heart-mind monkey will have less power and you will have more peace.

• 5. Do It Now

  Think about this: all the time you have is actually your life. Your Life-Time is your years on this planet. And it’s the same for every other living being. So think – is what you are doing now really how you want to be spending the minutes, hours and days of your life? Or the life of some other being? None of us know what the future holds. In a very real way, tomorrow is not given.

  So whatever you want to do, do it now. Make the moments count.

• 6. What’s Love got to do with It?

  Love is everything. Let me tell you this; you do not, should not, must not, settle. Doing that is wasting time, your life time, your life. Put your heart and soul into everything you do and you will find happiness within yourself. No one has the perfect relationship, the perfect life. Everyone has shit to clean up. But if you approach and live every aspect of your life with real love you will transform it. Your attitude is everything and an attitude of love is the best attitude of all.

  Live every aspect of your life with real love. Give it your best. Every bit of it. And watch things change.