The Secret Weapon of Happiness

The fundamental human emotional connection or bond one develops with people, objects, ideas or even a sense of self is called attachment.  It arises from our desire to feel secure, comfortable and in control of our lives.  In many ways, attachment is vitally necessary for us to develop and thrive.  Securely attached people are self contented, social, warm and easy to connect to.  They are aware of and able to express their feelings and tend to build deep, meaningful and long lasting relationships. 

But attachment can go badly awry. 

Particularly in this society, when we are subject to so many conflicting pressures to have more, be more and do more being attached to the wrong things or to too many things can lead to real problems. 

Clinging to people or things because we think they will bring us lasting happiness just doesn’t work. 

For one, nothing is really permanent. 

Everything is subject to change, so the temporary pleasure or satisfaction that anything provides ultimately leads to dissatisfaction as the goalposts ultimately move.  /\The once new shiny thing needs to be replaced with a newer shiny thing.  

The Buddhist solution is to cultivate non-attachment - breaking free from the cycle of craving and suffering, allowing us to live with greater freedom, equanimity and compassion. 

Fortunately, you don’t need to grab your begging bowl, shave your head and join a monastery.

Simply recognising the core truth that everything changes – that old saw; the only constant is change – and accepting and even embracing that truth -  is actually the secret weapon of happiness.   

Why?

Because, if you truly recognise that things are going to change or disappear and you accept that fact then your relationship with everything changes. 

Again, why? 

Because you begin to anchor yourself in the present and not the past or the future.  And once you begin to live in the present you have the ability to develop gratitude rather than longing … appreciating what you have and where you are.  

And if you can appreciate what you have and where you are … and recognise that it’s just a stage along the way … chances are you will indeed crave less, feel greater satisfaction with your life and relationships, feel more gratitude, find the ability to be mindful and actually live your life NOW. 

The future becomes an adventure, not a chore, the past is left behind where it belongs and you can truly be happy in the here and now.