Gratitude – What’s all the Fuss?

Let’s take a Look at Why, and How.

What is gratitude, anyway?

Formally, it’s described as a situational; social and moral-emotional feeling; a mediator of social cohesion, and a reinforcer of reciprocal prosocial behavior. That’s the scientific way of saying it’s the way our brains have developed to help us feel connected to other humans, something that is key to the long-term relationships that are central to the successful functioning of our lives as human animals.

We experience the most intense feelings of gratitude when we receive gifts or help that fulfill a personal need particularly when we know that this help was deliberately given to us for that purpose experiencing gratitude creates activity in a set of regions in the pre-frontal cortex of the brain, and people who express and feel gratitude indeed have a greater volume of grey matter in the right inferior temporal gyrus of the brain.

These regions are part of the neural networks that fire when we socialize or experience pleasure. They are also heavily connected to the parts of the brain that control basic emotional regulation; such as heart rate and stress relief and are also associated with pain reduction.

Additionally, they connect to the brain’s mu-opioid networks, which are activated during close interpersonal touch and relief from pain.

The documented effects of gratitude are profound. When we express and receive gratitude, our brains release serotonin and dopamine; those two neurotransmitters responsible for making us feel ‘good’.

The feelings of happiness and contentment they produce have a physiological basis and are long-lasting. Since gratitude is directly targeted at building and sustaining social bondings, it helps improve relationships and reinforces prosocial responses so that not just immediate relationships improve; ALL relationships do.

The truly wonderful thing about this discovery is that gratitude is something that we can consciously practice.

Our brain is conditioned to function in a repeated way.

From a neuroscience view, or Hebb’s Postulate; “neurons that fire together wire together”. In other words, we create neural shortcuts. Since our brains can’t process positive or negative emotions at the same time, we can literally train our brains to select positive emotions and thoughts, leading to a more positive outlook.

Unhappy people lean on their weaknesses and struggle with self-identity. Gratitude on the other hand encourages adaptive coping mechanisms and by creating the positive emotions of satisfaction, happiness and pleasure gratitude builds our emotional resilience and gives us the inner strength to combat stress.

Creating a practice of gratitude.

‘Normal’ habits can take a wide range of time to become entrenched. The classic study on habit formation indicates that it can range widely between individuals, from 18 – 254 days.

However, two factors give a great deal of comfort to anyone wanting to create and reap the benefits of a gratitude practice. The first is that though it can take a long time to develop a true habit, the key is overall consistency – missing one opportunity to perform the behaviour did not affect the overall formation process.

The second factor seems to be unique to gratitude itself. It appears that the practice ofgratitude not only shows material benefits from just a single practice but that the effect of that practice can continue to impact both physical and psychological wellbeing for years.

The outtake from that would appear to be that your gratitude practice does not have to be perfectly consistent for it to be effective. Overall consistency is good enough; especially since the effects of gratitude are so long lasting.

As an example, there was not much difference in OVERALL EFFECT between people who wrote a gratitude journal once or three times a week; or every day.

What are the actual components to a practice of gratitude? Basically, there are only two parts to it: affirming the good things we’ve received and acknowledging the role other people play in providing our lives with goodness. There are many and varied ways in which to do this; keeping journals, making grateful observations; vowing to practice gratitude; watching your language; using breath; meditating.

That’s all very well, but what we know from the study of habits is that the key to forming a habit is finding the simplest way to gain the most reward. That way we’re likely to be more consistent; create those neural pathways more effectively and reap the benefits of our practice more deeply and productively.

I don’t know about you, but I’m just not a journaler. It just doesn’t appeal to me. It doesn’t help that I can hardly read my own handwriting (though I suppose nothing prevents me from journaling on my laptop) but there’s something about it that just doesn’t float my boat.

Fortunately for my own gratitude practice, my research turned up a technique that is not only more appealing to me personally but seems to be more appealing across the board – and more effective, too. Remember what we just learned about habits?

The simplest way to gain the most reward.

The most effective gratitude ‘tool’.

My study was a qualitative research project that asked a selection of participants in a WhatsApp gratitude group – of all different nationalities; professions and ages – a series of questions to see if I could identify common touchpoints that would help anyone improve or further enjoy their habit of practicing gratitude.

Given the origins of gratitude in our deep primal past as a social glue, it’s not at all surprising that simply being part of the group was identified as being a reward that kept members both participating and returning to hear other’s stories.

Though the group had started some months previously as a structured daily reminder; with set tasks, the members felt that they did not need this to continue as a motivation for their practice; but they wanted to continue to feel connected to the other grateful people in the group. They felt motivated and grateful for the gift of OTHER PEOPLE’S experiences (which we have seen intensifies gratitude), which acted as reminders to them to seek their own expressions of gratitude, a self-fulfilling cycle.

The online gratitude group had initially followed a monthly plan as laid out in the book ‘TheMagic’ (Byrne, R. 2012). The plan details a series of gratitude activities to be carried out daily, with a ‘top and tail’ practice of journaling in the morning and in the evening – just before going to sleep at night - using a mnemonic device (in this case, a stone) to visualise the best moment/s of the day.

The group was asked which of the activities most resonated with them; and which if any they were continuing to use 60 – 90 days after beginning their practice.

The entire group were still doing the nightly practice of thinking and being grateful for ‘the best part of their day’. They all found that this was the practice they found most beneficial and the easiest to remember to do. As one said; “I find it positively impacts the first thoughts of the morning”.

By contrast, only 50% carried out a ‘top and tail’ practice - journaling their blessings in the morning and recapping their lived experiences at night. Knowing what we know about feelings of gratitude creating serotonin and dopamine in the brain, it is not surprising that a practice of gratitude last thing at night both helps us to sleep better and wake up feeling more positive. And again; as neurons that fire together wire together, the most effective practice of firing that brings the most reward becomes the most repeated.

Additionally; the nightly practice includes the use of a memory aid– a physical tool to help augment your memory. In this case, it’s a ‘special stone’ or object that one holds while reviewing the day with a grateful mindset.

This simple tool kept by the bedside serves as a reminder to perform the practice – which then provides its serotonin / dopamine reward.

Keeping it simple and making it routine AND rewarding - no surprise that it’s a winner in the habit stakes.

So there you go.

If you want to be happier, healthier, more positive, more resilient and sleep better, in other words reap all the benefits of a gratitude practice, you don’t have to journal.

Find something you’re happy to keep by your bedside and rewire your brain while you sleep.

For the whole paper on gratitude and the brain, click here.